Loss and Gain

I’m not really a particularly fancy or pretty girl. The picture on the side bar in the about me section is the best picture ever taken of me. I don’t look like that on a daily basis… or even a decadely basis for that matter. But God gave me big lovely teeth. I smile a lot because they don’t really fit in my mouth. I like my smile all silly and big – it’s very me. Yesterday I had to get a front tooth pulled because of a root canal gone wrong and a sist up in there. It wasn’t pretty and I actually cried at my new toothless grin. Sad and pathetic… really not a big deal. I have a flipper (weird name since it brings imagery of dolphins) that is like a retainer with a tooth attached so most of you won’t even see it. But it truly bothers me to the core.
no toothBut you see that same day when I was still annoyed at my new lot in the dental world, I got an email. A beautiful, beautiful email that said our dossier had been accepted, that we are officially on the list. We are officially waiting to find out who our son is. All of that paperwork and running around has led us to a place where we can prayerfully wait for him to come home. We can continue to read books on attachment, Ethiopia, transracial adoption and posts like this – http://www.patheos.com/blogs/jonathanwilsonhartgrove/2013/07/crying-out-for-what-our-courts-cant-give/  as I truly desire to be a mom who can help him navigate his world. But mostly all I could be was joyful, oh so joyful that God is letting this be, that I will be a mom again, that I will hold him in my arms and let him know that he was loved before he was even known. I was so overjoyed and blessed. Who needs teeth when your heart is growing daily in love with a boy you haven’t even met yet.

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3 Responses to “Loss and Gain”

  1. Kerin July 18, 2013 at 1:42 pm # Reply

    You are a pretty girl (a very pretty girl!!) Flipper or no flipper! You’re smile is gorgeous no matter what! But I know exactly what you mean, my eyes were always my favorite part of me (really the only thing i really liked) and now they are covered up all the time. At least it’s only for 3 months:)
    And Yay!! for being on the official list!! Wahoo!!!

    • Kelly July 18, 2013 at 4:08 pm # Reply

      I did think of you when I was feeling bad. It’s all good, just temporary nonimportant things. Thanks Kerin and Kim!

  2. Vertical Mom July 18, 2013 at 2:40 pm # Reply

    I LOVE IT!!! You are so beautiful, inside and out :-)

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